Joyce Meyer...

Wise words! Something we all can think about.....

"Its amazing the fuss we make just to be right. What's so terrible about saying: I was wrong"


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En nou

Ek is so vreeslik moeg! En ek kry nie geslaap nie.

Dis asof my brein net aanhou maal oor al hierdie dinge en die onsekerheid van dieselfde dinge.

Ek kan nie my vinger op dit sit nie, en dit frustreer die sewe soorte stront uit my uit!

Ek is moeg, regtig moeg...

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This and That...

Its the first year that I don't have the Christmas feeling yet. The tree is up, and there are a few presents scattered beneath it, that I wrapped. But I still don't feel that excited vibe.

Maybe when I go and do my Christmas shopping it will change?

My sister was offered a new job! That is so amazing! She starts in the new year. Her salary is much better and she's closer to home. God is good! He knows when is the right time for everything. Its the first time in my life that I've seen her reading anything except the Bible! LOL! She is busy studying Accounting books I brought her, and she is so excited, but very nervous!

As a family we made a decision that was pending for a while now. I'm relieved that its been made and that all will start happening in the new year. Yes, its going to be a huge change, but it will work out.

My BFF is very unhappy at work. Its bad that she is not considered for a permanent position, but I know she must just hang in there! The crap with work and her landlord will work out as our Lord planned!

I have this new plan for Ash's. Even though my Dad told me its not a good idea, I have the support from other family and friends - I hope and pray it will boost the income. Now I have to wait for the tax people, and hopefully they give me some money back, so I can start this new venture?

Its a lovely day in Boksburg, its raining! Even though its not good for business....

Well, I can't sit here and blog the whole day - because I have some books to sell!

Till later!

PS: D, I was up at 4am! Guess why?


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sjoe

Die storie laat mens weer bietjie oor die waardes van die lewe nadink.
 
 Uit die pen van Corné Grundling (Ex SAUK Joernalis)
               "Hoe ouer ek word, hoe meer geniet ek Saterdagoggende.Miskien is dit die stil alleenheid wat daarmee kom om eerste op te staan, of miskien die uitbundige vreugde om nie werk toe te gaan nie.Hoe dit ookal sy, die eerste paar ure op 'n Saterdagoggend is dielekkerste..       "'n Paar weke gelede was ek op pad na die motorhuis met 'n stomende koppie koffie in die een hand en die oggendkoerant in die ander hand. Wat as 'n tipiese Saterdag begin het sou draai in een van daardie lesse wat die lewe van tyd tot tyd vir 'n mens gee. Laat ek vir jou hiervan vertel.       "Ek is 'n radioamateur en het my ontvangstoestel ingeskakel op die telefoniese band om na die Saterdagoggend gesprekke te luister. Met die luister na die gesprekke kom ek af op 'n man wat ouerig klink, met 'n sterk sein en 'n goue stem. Jy weet 'n stem wat klink of hy in die uitsaaiwese hoort. Hy was besig om te vertel, wie ookal wou luister van 'n ding met 'n duisend albasters. Ek was skielik geinteresseerd en besluit om te luister na wat hy te sê  het.       "'Wel Tom, dit klink sekerlik dat jy baie besig is in jou werk.Ek is seker dat hulle jou goed betaal, maar dit is hartseer dat jy soveel weg is van die huis en jou gesin. Dit is moeilik om te glo dat 'n jong man sestig tot sewentig uur 'n week moet werk om deur te kom. Dit is hartseer dat jy jou dogter se dansopvoering gemis het. Maar laat ek jou iets vertel wat my gehelp het om my prioriteite reg te hou.'       "Dit is toe wat die man sy teorie van 'n duisend albastersverduidelik.       "'Jy sien, ek het eendag gesit en 'n bietjie somme gemaak. Diegemiddelde persoon leef 75 jaar. Ek weet, sommige leef meer en sommige minder, maar gemiddeld, leef mense ongeveer 75 jaar.       "'Wat ek toe doen is om 75 te vermenigvuldig met 52 en ek het die getal 3900 gekry - dit is die aantal Saterdae wat die gemiddelde mens in sy hele leeftyd het. Hou nou net 'n bietjie uit Tom, ek kom nou by die belangrike deel. Ek het eers op die ouderdom van 55 jaar begin dink aan hierdie detail, en by daardie tyd het ek reeds deur meer as 2800 Saterdae geleef. Ek had nog ongeveer 'n duisend Saterdae oor om te geniet. So het ek na die speelgoedwinkel gegaan en al die albasters in die winkel gekoop.Uiteindelik moes ek by nog twee speelgoedwinkels ingaan om by 'n 1000 albasters uit te kom. Ek het die albasters huis toe geneem en hulle in 'n groot, helder deursigtige plastiese fles geplaas - alles hier in my stoorkamer langs al my goed.       "'Van daardie dag af het ek elke Saterdagoggend een albasteruitgehaal en weggegooi. Ek het agtergekom soos ek die albasters sien minder raak, ek al meer gefokus het op die regtige belangrike dinge in die lewe.       "'Daar is niks soos om te sien hoe jou tyd op die aarde besig is om uit te hardloop, om jou te help om jou prioriteite reg te kry nie.       "'Wel, laat ek jou vertel voordat ek van die lug afgaan om mylieflike vrou vir ete uit te neem. Vanoggend het ek die laaste albaster uit die fles gehaal. Ek reken indien ek dit volgende Saterdag maak, is ek 'n klein bietjie ekstra tyd gegun. En die een ding wat ons almal kan gebruik is'n klein bietjie ekstra tyd.       "'Dit was lekker om met jou te kon gesels, Tom, ek hoop jy spandeer meer tyd met jou gesin, en ek hoop ons ontmoet weer hier op die lug. Dit is 'n 75-jarige ou man, K9NZQ wat groet, oor en uit.'       "Jy kon 'n speld op die lug hoor val toe die man van die lugafgaan.. Ek reken hy het vir ons almal iets gegee om oor na te dink.Ekself het beplan om die oggend te werk aan die antenna van my radio, en daarna was ek van plan om met 'n paar van die ander radioamateurs saam te werk aan ons klub se nuusbrief.       "Ek het egter - instede daarvan om dit te doen - die trappe opgeklim na ons slaapkamer en my vrou met 'n soen wakker gemaak. 'Komaan my vroutjie, ek neem vir jou en die kinders vir ontbyt. Sy het regop gesit met 'n glimlag: 'Wat het gemaak om dit mee te bring?' Ek het na haar gekyk en gedink hoe gelukkig ek is. 'Ag wat, niks besonders nie, dit is slegs 'n lang tyd gelede dat ons 'n Saterdagoggend saam met mekaar en met die kindersspandeer het. En terwyl ons nou uitgaan, kan ons stop by diespeelgoedwinkel? Ek het nodig om albasters te koop.

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The week...

I had such a great week, sales wise, at Ash's! God is good, and for that I'm grateful! I opened today, and made my daily target, cleaned the shop and I pray that another good week is in the works.... But I don't like being greedy. This is my dream, and sometimes I don't see a bright future, so I think its good to count my blessings and have faith.

I was disappointed in one of my friends, its absolutely disgusting what she did, and I decided she must think and do whatever she wants. I don't need people in my life that do the things she did.

Things at home is doing better. We are busy deciding if we must sell our town house, and buy another one. But I still think the best option is to build a garden cottage. But time will tell...

I miss my freund.... :(

Let me go help my Mom and hopefully have time for an afternoon nap.



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No name

I don't like saying this, but I woke up with this terrible RA pain! Urgh! Its been a while since this happened.

The pain is constant, like its been simmering a while now.

I didn't want my blog to become a 'nag-page', but it seems like it did!

Lord, please show me the way? With my family, with Ash's and all the other 'no name' areas in my life? Please? Amen!


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To think about...

Oh Lord,

When I grow weary, please help me to remember, each and every day:

To count my blessings & not my crosses.
To count my gains & not my losses.
To count my laughs & not my tears.
To count my joys & not my fears.
To count my health & not my wealth.
And most of all - To count on GOD & not only myself!

Got this off FB, like usual. Today was one of those days, where I felt like everything went wrong. Woke up this morning, with a bad wound on my face, because I've done something stupid! Now, I hope it doesn't leave a scar? My Mom and Sister still did not make up, and I wish there was something I could do to fix this? I don't like it when people I care for, react this way, you know?

It seems like the construction at the shop is at a standstill again, that makes me worry, because its keeping customers away...

But? I know that everything will be ok....in God's perfect timing!


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Miss it...

I've been staying with an old lady since Monday. She is adorable, and the most unselfish person I know. She doesn't eat dinner, because the older people believe in having their 'dinner' at lunchtime, but every night since I got here, there was a cooked meal waiting for me. Tonight she insisted on rubbing ointment on my sore feet! I felt so very bad, but she says it makes her happy. So I bit my tongue and let her be.

But, yes there is a but.

I miss home. I miss open doors and windows. I miss doing my own thing when I get home. I miss standing in front of my cupboard, wondering what to wear. And I miss my sister, and the four year old!

Sjoe, I can't breathe in this house, I feel so closed up, if you know what I mean?

But its good to be able to help someone....


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Bones and things...

A lot of good things happened this week, so far. I got a rent-free month at the shop, and sales are looking good. It feels good not worrying where the rent will come from. I serve an Awesome God, and He is the only one to thank for that!

My BFF had a small accident with her bike, and I'm concerned, because I don't know if she is telling me how she really feels? I hope and pray that she will be well asap...it would have been nice to spend more time with her, while she's not feeling well.

I'm back to reading! It feels good to loose myself in a book for a change. I finished two in a week and a half, believe me, that's a record for me. Maybe its because both books kept me so intrigued?

I was just thinking...since we have 206 bones in our bodies, we should have more or less 103 joints, right? And I think that I have at least 32 joints in pain at the moment, ja, 32.
But, I must say that the pain of the smaller joints, is bearable, its the big ones that gets me down.

I can't sleep, and its so frustrating, because I'm tired. My eyes feel like sandpaper.

Lord, I want to thank You for everything! You are good to me and I praise and worship You! Please keep my family and friends safe? Please help those that needs You? Amen!


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Intensity, sjoe...

Alexandra Adornetto wrote this in her book called Hades:

'I feel sorry for you' he said slowly 'I guess you wouldn't know what its like to be loved or wanted by anybody. You're right, though; Beth isn't human, because humans have a soul that they struggle all the time to stay in touch with. Every day is a battle for them to listen to their conscience and do the right thing. If you knew Beth at all you'd know that she doesn't have a soul, she's ALL soul. She's filled with it, more than any human possibly could be. You wouldn't know that because emptiness and hatred isd all you've ever known. But that won't win out in the end - you'll see'

Grrrrrr
And then I cried like a baby! Sjoe!



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Trying...

I can't even blog today.... Its as if every turn my thoughts make, I walk into a dead-end.

Very frustrating...


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For my BFF and BMF

A best friend doesn't care when you're broke - being a bitch - what you weigh - if you don't see them for months - if your house is a mess - if you forget their special days - what you drive - about your past - or if your family is filled with crazy people. Your conversations pick up where they left off - even if they have been months apart.


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Unbearable

God? Please God?
Its so sore. Please help to take away this pain. I'm soo tired, I just want to sleep, but I can't! Because the pain is everywhere...
It is unbearable. I know there are so much more people out there that needs Your help..
Please God? Help me?

Amen!

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Jip...

I'm still awake, urgh!

I've got this funny back ache, and its just constantly paining. I don't think its got anything to do with RA....

I just wanna sleep, please?


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Bekommernis...

Die winkel doen nie goed nie. My sussie sukkel met haar seuntjie. Geld raak min.

Dis moeilik, regtig. Ek sit nou al 'n rukkie en wonder of ek nie maar my droom moet opgee, en weer begin werk soek nie. Op die einde van die dag moet ek sekerlik ten minste my uitgawes dek, of hoe? Ek is bang! Regtig bang dat ek dalk te lank gaan vat om 'n antwoord te kry oor wat ek moet doen. Dit is wat ek wil he. Dit is wat ek glo die Here het vir my gegee. Maar dit voel nie meer reg nie.

My sussie is in trane hier weg vanoggend, omdat haar seuntjie so 'lelik' is. Dis nou 'n gewoonte as hy van sy pa af kom. Sy gee haar alles vir hom. Sy probeer so hard.

Here? Asseblief ons het U hulp nodig?

Here, help my familie? Help my asseblief om suksesvol te wees met die winkel, en met my familie, en my vriende?


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A day in the life of...me

I've been battling with my knee. Jip, the thing is so sore, it feels like I can just take it out with a bread knife.

That leads me, to nearly breaking my neck in the shower this morning, which lead me to nearly shaving off my leg. Then after my shower, I realize that I colored more of my ears, neck and forehead, than my hair.

As soon as I got to Ash's, my day turned out to go better. I had a good day, filled with customers and sales! Thank You Lord!

Got home, realized I killed our brand new love palm! Because I forgot to water the poor thing...

Now I'm laying in bed, listening to the wind howling outside. Hopefully it brings good, hard rain. To settle all the dust?


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Something we all should remember...

God sends people to pick us up when we struggle: "If either of them falls down, one can help the other up" (Ecclesiastes 4:10). Don't be isolated in your troubles. Ask safe people for help, and give it back to others as well.


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True?

I couldn't help but smile at myself when I saw this:

Have you ever wondered, if God looks down at you in a humorous moment, chuckles and thinks to Himself: 'Yeah, I made that'


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Wide awake...

The wind is howling outside, but there was no rain yet.

So far, I really enjoyed our weekend away. It feels good to not have pain and to get out of routine..

Thank you Lord!


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Ek wens....

Ek het lanklaas in so baie plekke in my lyf, seer gehad. Sjoe, dit voel asof ek uitmekaar val. Maar ek voel goed. Dit maak nie sin nie, ne? Ek weet...

My Ma se toetse het teruggekom, maar ons moet wag tot Dinsdag, wanneer die dokter terug kom, vir die uitslae. Dit is regtig nie lekker nie! Here, asb dat sy ok sal wees? Asseblief?

Amen....

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Rain...

Its raining...

Who could have thought that the sound of thunder would be so welcoming?

Well, I believe this is the beginning of a good summer!

I believe things are going to be better on all fronts...

Why? Because we have an awesome God!

Sleep tight, everyone...

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Success?

My body is aching soo bad! I know I said I'm not blogging about it again, but I want to. I wish I could explain how it feels, you know?

Business was slow today. Please Lord, help me?

I'm thinking of looking for an extra income. Something I can do at the shop during the day - but what, I don't know. I need the income, but to work my brain a bit will do me the world of good.

I want to go home tired...and not tired, because of the pain.

I want to be successful real bad!

Lord, please help? Please let me be a success, please take away my pain? I don't want to live on pain medication. I want my body back? I want Ash's to be a success...please?

So that's me and my pity-party-for-one for today....


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Funny...

Found this on facebook:

A real man is a
woman's best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad
day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will
enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident,
sexy, seductive and invincible ... No wait. Sorry. I'm thinking of wine. It's
WINE that does all that... Never mind... ;)


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Soos dit is...

Snaaks hoe dinge so stadig, maar seker net verander. Jy sien die tekens al 'n rukkie, en probeer dit in jou kop vir jouself uitwerk. Maar jy kan net nie jou vinger op dit sit nie.

Dan soek jy die fout by jouself, en begin dan in jouself twyfel.

Als wat jy se en doen word verkeerd opgevat, mense deel niks meer met jou nie, want daar word net die heeltyd 'aangeneem'

Ek sit vanaand hier en ek sal nie weer vra wat aan die gang is nie. As mense nie met jou wil deel nie, is dit iets wat jy moet aanvaar.

Wel, dis dan seker hoe dinge gaan wees. Ek het nog nooit gat gelek vir enige iets in my lewe nie, en ek gaan nie nou begin nie.

Ek is moeg om te torring, ek is moeg om te verduidelik. Ek is moeg vir die gekompliseerde goed, wat eintlik nie baie gekompliseerd moet wees nie. Iets wat natuurlik moet wees.

So vanaand staan ek terug.

Van vanaand af sal ek wag, wag vir antwoorde en verduidelikings. Miskien kom dit reg, miskien nie....


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Wow...

Fear turns into faith,when you turn your worry into worship



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Friend...

Drienie van Staden wrote:

A friend is like a flower, a rose to be exact, Or maybe like a brand new gate that never comes unlatched. A friend is like an owl, both beautiful and wise. Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, whose spirit never dies. A friend is like a heart that goes strong until the end. Where would we be in this world if we didn't have a friend.


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Insomniac-ness

I've been battling to sleep for a few months now, and every time I can't sleep, I try to figure out why.

Well, tonight it can be the wind howling outside. I can feel it through the windows. Funny, I know, because they are closed, but somehow the wind is getting in.

Then it could be because of the heaviness of the blankets. Its so cold that I need a few, plus my duvet. Maybe I feel a bit surrounded.

It could also be that I have all these plans running through my head! Plans for Ash's. Tonight's plan is a blackboard room divider. It will look pretty nice at the opening to the kitchen. I think?

There is advertising ideas, too... I'm thinking of getting branded flags. But, I'm not sure about those yet.

Then I think about my family and friends a lot. I love them so much, and I lay here and pray to God to keep them safe and sound. To keep them protected and happy, and healthy.

So what can it be? Why am I not sleeping? Who knows...

O wait! It can be that my socks are cramping my style or that my warm water bottle is just too hot?

I just want to sleep....really....


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So seer!

Ek het lanklaas so seer gehad soos nou. My hande kan nie toemaak nie, my voete pyn, ek het 'n knop op my elmboog en my skouer is werklik seer!!

Ek kan nie slaap nie, want daar is nie 'n manier wat ek kan slaap soos altyd nie. Maak nie saak hoe ek le nie, dis seer!

Here, my God, asseblief vat hierdie pyn weg? Here asb?

Amen!

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Late...?

I know its late...

But is there anyone I can talk to out there?


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What's up?

I woke up ten minutes ago, and it feels like I slept for hours...and to set the record straight? I only did the sleep thing for two hours? I think?

Just grand...


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Thorns in my side...

I've started this blog a few times, saved it to draft, and then deleted it again.

Maybe its because I don't want to blog about my RA anymore. I can just imagine how people must feel, reading about it the whole time. I won't like to. So, yes, I'm not going to blog about that no more. I believe God will heal me, so I'm leaving that 'thorn' for now.

I bought books, and I'm so eager to start reading them. But I'm battling to read - again! I don't know what's up with that. Its not that I don't have time, I have a lot of that. So not being able to read is another 'thorn'.

Ash's is doing ok. But I want it to do better. I know it can! I've got all these ideas, but I'm battling to realize them. Its good ideas, I think. I just can't do them alone. I need help. Every time I'm ready and full of excitement to start, then it all comes to a grinding halt, because of stupid things like the size of a board! A huge 'thorn'.

For my two very dear friends? I'm sorry I've been such a grumpy old kuh! :(

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Hoe alles skeef loop

Alles is weereens waar dit was, een groot gemors-spul. Al wat ek eintlik wou doen was om dinge vir haar makliker te maak, haar te spaar van die vibes en negatiewe dinge.

Dis moeilik as sy dink ek lieg vir haar, dis moeilik dat ons nie meer kan praat soos altyd nie.

Dit voel werklikwaar of ek haar klaar verloor het. Miskien het ek, want ek kan dit aanvoel.

Ek is moeg. Regtig.

Almal kom maar seker op 'n stadium waar dinge net elke keer meer en meer skeefloop. Dis deel van die lewe.

Die vraag is, wil hulle dit regmaak?

Wel, tyd sal seker leer. Maar tot dan, bly ek stil en se liewer niks, want sodra ek iets se, word dit uit verband uit geruk, en soos ek se, ek is moeg.


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Good, don't you think...

My Lifeguard walks on water!

Amen!


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Ek weet nie...

Daar is iets fout, en ek weet dit. Ek wens ek kon net eerlike antwoorde kry en ophou om my self so te bekommer.

Maar, dis ek, ek kan nie ophou nie.

Ek weet nie wat aangaan nie, miskien is dit ek?

Wie weet....


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This is how we should think....

Do the simple~GOD will do the complicated..
Do the small things~ GOD will do the gr8 things..
Do the possible~ GOD will do the impossible..
GOD's strength is perfect when our strength is gone..GOD carries us when we cannot carry on..


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Sleeping meds - a myth...

I'm awake, and it feels like I slept for days. Great, ja? I had coffee and now I'm sitting in bed, with nothing to do. The world is sleeping, so no one to chat to either..

Maybe its because I'm sleeping with so many blankets?

Maybe its because I go to bed too early these days?

Maybe its because I'm worried about sales at Ash's?

Maybe its because of money?

Maybe its because of pain?

Who knows....


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Asseblief?

Liewe Here, dis ek...

Here asb vat hierdie pyn weg? Asb? Dit is so seer en ek weet nie meer hoe om dit te hanteer nie.

Here, asb ek het U hulp asb nodig?

Ek probeer, maar ek kan nie meer nie!

Amen


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Winter...

I'm sure its way colder than it was last year. Sjoe, its freezing....

It seems I can't wait to get into bed, if its to sleep or not, I just want to warm up and snuggle away from the cold!

I also realized that my RA is worse when its cold, and to think we have this month and next to go..

But, I'm grateful that I have a warm, cozy bed to crawl into. There are so many that don't have that privilege.



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Engel van hart - Juanita du Plessis

'n mens wens vir iemand wat so oor jou oor voel, ne?

Engel van my hart:
Ek wonder wat het ek ooit gedoen om jou te vedien
Het jy dalk my hart deur die oe van die hemel raak gesien
Want nooit in my lewe het ek gedink, dat iemand my so lief kan he soos jy
n Engel gestuur vir my.

Jys die wind hier onder my vlerke, wat my hoog hou, in die lug hou
Jys die vuur wat brand in my sodat ek kan styg.

Met jou krag en sterkte leer jy my om te lewe, jys die rede
Jys die engel van my hart want jy glo in my.

Die kalmte spoel oor my as jy naby my is,
Jou arms bly die hawe waar ek veiling rus
Om elke myl saam met my te loop
Te glo en hoop dat ek my drome kry, dis jy
'n engel gestuur vir my.

Jys die wind hier onder my vlerke, wat my hoog hou, in die lug hou
Jys die vuur wat brand in my sodat ek kan styg.

Met jou krag en sterkte leer jy my om te lewe, jys die rede
Jys die engel van my hart want jy glo in my.


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Tjank...

Ek is so moeg om hierdie beeld voor te hou, dat dit my nie pla nie, omdat my beste vriendin nie hiernatoe kom nie! Ek is moeg dat my lewe beplan word vir my. Ek is moeg vir die bakleiery en die stryery, vir die hartseer.

Sodra ek dink dinge gaan nou beter, dan is daar weer 'n bom wat bars, en ek is die een wat sit en worry!

Ek wil net tjank, regtig.

My ander vriend dink ek skuif my vriendin eenkant toe, en laat haar wag terwyl ek sit en wag. Wel, weet jy wat, ek wens ek kon dit verander.

Maar dit is wie ek is....is dit verkeerd om vrede en liefde vir almal te wil he?

Hoeveel kos 'n eiland?


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Again

I'm soo sore!

And tired....


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Grateful and Thankful

These are two words that I don't use often enough. Especially the last few months. Its been hard with the RA, jip, I've been diagnosed with a severe case of Rheumatoid Arthritis. I've been carrying on about all the different levels of pain in my body, but I must say that the times I blogged about this, it felt like it was killing me slowly.

BUT...

I am grateful and thankful that I know now how to cope with it. What to do when I wanna die of the pain. Yes, there are days when I don't understand why it's happening. I want to say thank you to our Lord for helping me with this!

My family is good and healthy. My Oupa's check-up went well, my sister and her son is well, my Mom needs some support and help, to learn how to forgive and forget...but overall, I'm thankful and grateful that they are well and happy!

My BFF made a few decisions that is making her happy, and her test results was perfect. She is making plans and enjoying her job, so I'm grateful and thankful for that as well!

My far-away friend is back! I'm so grateful and thankful for that! I missed him, very much. He sounds tired, but happy. I thank God for him! I love our daily chats and the advise he gives me. The days where I feel worried or concerned, I can talk to him. I enjoy his company and I hope our friendship will go from strength to strength...

Then there is Ash's. I love going to the shop every day. Yes, there are slow days, days that I worry I'm not gonna make it. But then God comes and give me a good day! I'm thankful and grateful for the shop! For this new 'job', where I make the decisions, where I don't need anyone's permission to change something or do something.

Lord, thank you! Without You nothing is possible, and with You everything is possible. You show me that every day!

I am grateful and thankful!!


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Funny...

I woke up from an irritating dream. It was about books... That is all I can remember. Urgh, very frustrating!

Now I'm not tired and I can't seem to get back to sleep.

I wonder why I'm feeling like this? Very funny to wake up irritated...

To top it all off, now I have a headache, grrrrrr!

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I like this...

You have three choices in life:
Give in
Give up
Or...
Give it your all!

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Dis sooo seer!

My lyf is so seer, ek wens ek kon verduidelik hoe ek voel? Ek kan skaars beweeg...

Ek is so seer dat dit my wakker maak, my skouer, my voete, my hande!

Ek wil eerlikwaar net op 'n hopie gaan sit en tjank.

Here, asb help?

Dis regtig vreeslik seer.....


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Rain in winter...

It is really cold this morning. Yes, I couldn't sleep again, so at 4am I decided to get up and start the washing. At least I got a few things done...

As soon as my sister is awake I will shower and get ready for Ash's. With the weather being this bad, I don't think I will have a very good day sales wise, but at least I can clean the shop, nicely for a change. And the rain helps to settle all the dust that's caused by the construction!

I truly hope the above mentioned construction will be done by month end, but when you see the amount of work left, there is not much chance for that happening.

My BFF is sick, and I worry about her. Lord, please keep her safe and heal her please?

The good thing is looking good! All I can say is that I have the Lord to thank for that...I truly hope and pray that it will just get better and better, and to have it all back soon...


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'Flare'

Jip, dit is wat ek weer het vanoggend, net great! Dit voel asof elke liewe deel van my bo-lyf pyn.

My skouers, hande is die ergste.

Maar ek sal deur hierdie een kom net soos die ander. Met die hulp van die Here!

Ek is so baie dankbaar vir alles wat die Here vir my doen! Hy is so goed! 'n Bietjie pyn is die moeite werd....

Maar dit sal nice wees as ek dit nie hoef te he nie....

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Can't sleep...

I'm awake, completely awake. I had coffee, did my nails, and the TV don't want to work...

So? What to do with myself at 1am?


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4am...

I was awake at 4am this morning, yes, because of pain in my hands, grrrr. But its been a good morning, got a lot done.

I hope I'm gonna have a good day at the shop, Fridays usually bring more sales.

Something very good happened on Wednesday night (No S, not what you're thinking), I wish I can explain how good it felt! I hope that it is a start? I hope it happens again?

Well, I'm off to take J to school, its his 4th Birthday tomorrow, and I need to go order cake....


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Here asseblief...

Here, U is almagtig, U is in beheer! Dankie dat ek op U kan vertrou!

Here, U weet wat in my hart is...maak asb al hierdie deurmekaar-hartseer-dinge reg?

Amen

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Urgh!

Ek is so gefrustreerd dit is nie eers snaaks nie. Ek haat dit om so te voel! Ek is bekommerd oor die winkel en of ek die regte ding doen? Ek het vandag nog nie een klient gehad nie, en die syfers vir die maand is nie wat wonders nie. Ek kan nie aanhoudend uit my spaargeld, geld vat vir voorraad ens nie! Ja, ek het helfte van my huur afslag gekry, maar daar is soveel uitgawes! Here, jaag asb die duiwel weg? Hy is besig om my so af te takel en ek kan dit nie meer alleen doen nie. Here asb?

Dan voel dit asof D net weg is! Asof hy aanbeweeg het en my agter gelaat het! Ek wens ek het geweet waaraan hy dink en of daar enige gevoel oor is binne hom! Ek weet nie meer wat om te dink nie, ek sal nooit ophou hoop nie, maar dit is al meer as 'n maand, dit voel soos 'n ewigheid! Here, asb bring hom terug? Ek weet ek is ongeduldig en wil so graag die tyd aanjaag, maar U het U eie tyd vir als...

Ek kry koud en ek is verveeld! Dit is die eerste keer wat ek so voel vandat ek Ash's het. Dit is verkeerd, hierdie is my brood en botter en ek moet hiervan 'n sukses maak!

Ek voel so buite beheer! Urgh! Hoe kan ek maak om beter te voel? Hoe kan ek maak om dinge reg te maak? Die regte besluite te neem?

Here asb help?


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At home...

Back at home after a relaxing weekend. I think it did me the world of good to spend time with the family. I'm glad we did not fight, because we normally do, or wait, that's not true. We always enjoy time together, even when we disagree.

Saw amazing animals, a kudu was so close this morning, I could have touched it. The Giraffes are my favorite, and we got to see them too...

My BFF did a very good job at Ash's, like usual - thanx for that S!

Thought about a lot of things, and I spend some quiet time.

PS: I still miss D....


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Hornbull...

Pretty...
@ Dikhololo


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Cold...

It is freezing today! I think its one of the coldest days we've had in a long time. Having Ash's means open doors, so customers can see you're open, so I'm sitting here, feeling like a block of ice.

Last night's Bible study went very well! Thank you Lord! I hope we can help this girl that joined us, she seems so lost and alone..

I'm thinking a lot about D...since yesterday, it feels like years since the last time we spoke. I miss our chats, our laughs and the friendship. I wish there was something I could do or say to fix things. I miss him, I do. And I'm not going to lose faith.

Too many people just let go, I can't and won't be like that.

Please Lord, help?


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No idea what to call this...

I just finished ironing, and I'm tired, but I don't feel like sleeping.

Have you seen Balto? Its an animation movie, based on a true story. For those that know me, you know I'm not into animations, but I must say that was a really good one. Cried a bit too. No wonder some people say that a dog is a man's best friend...

Well, I prefer human friends (not saying I don't like dogs)!

I decided not to go back to Pretoria for the program. I can't leave Ash's on a weekly basis, and then there are th e side effects of the medication.

I'm going to trust in the Lord, to help me. I will be ok...

I still miss D a lot!

Oor en uit....

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What must I do?!

I'm so fed up with this guinea-pig stuff! Yes, already...

Now I must got to Pretoria again, so they can book me into hospital for a day and a half! Who is gonna look after Ash's? What must I do?

I can't expect my family and friends to take off work so I can MAYBE go on a program!

Urgh, I'm so disgusted!


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I'm here...

I'm in Pretoria to go on a gunea-pig program for my arthritis...lovely.

Since I drove here all by myself, the drive was quiet and I had a lot of time to think.

Thinking about D, my sister going for an interview, and my BFF.

My family, D and my BFF is so important, I don't think they realize how much...

I feel emotional, and not about the program.


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So true...

I found this on FB - again!

by Aaron Chavez Nobody can live life backwards! There is absolutely nothing you can do about your past mistakes or decisions. God is a forgiving God. God does not hold a grudge so don't feel so bad about your past. God only cares about how you live your life NOW and in the FUTURE!

And I've got this to add

When you care and love a person, you also don't care about past mistakes/decisions...you forgive! And keep loving and caring...


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Sleep, maybe...

Maybe its a good idea if I go to bed? For the past few weeks, I either woke up at the most awful times, or I slept and was wide awake by 4am.

Or maybe its because I'm worried most of the time?

So, maybe going to bed early will help...

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Sover...thus far...

Hoekom ek en my vriendin so haaks is, sal net die spoke weet. Sodra ek dink dinge gaan beter dan gebeur daar weer iets wat ons twee stappe terug sit. Ek hoop en bid ons kan dinge uitsorteer.

My tooth-hole is still sore, I don't know why its still burning. I've been rinsing with salt, like a salt addict, but it is not healing. Maybe it will take more time? I need to be patient. Not just with this hole, but with a few more things. It is getting to the point where I want things to hurry along...I know, God has got His own plan, and time.

I need to start cleaning the shop, its working on my nerves, but as soon as I'm done with one thing, another plan or idea starts forming...that's a good thing?

Jayden was in trane toe ek hom afgelaai het vanoggend, dit breek my hart. Here, asb moenie dat Jean weer begin met sy stories nie? Ek het vir hom so paar hempies gaan koop, hopelik beur dit hom op..

I bought a Third Day CD yesterday...I must say I like it, even though I didn't when I listened to it the first time.

I'm starting my tests as a guinea-pig on Thursday...I don't even know what to expect. And then I'm worried about the time I will be gone from the shop..

My 21 dae van VAS is amper verby. Ek moet se, ek mis rerig koffie, maar ek wil iets vir God terugdoen, en vir Hom wys Hy is my enigste God! Ek vra Hom vir so baie dinge, en dis sommer ook deel van dankie se.

D - I miss you, very much!

That's me, for this blog. May the Lord be with everyone I love, Amen...


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Friday...

Can't believe people are so superstitious about Friday being the 13th...grrrr.

My mouth is sore, and its still bleeding - just great! But that is what happens if you lose a tooth because of some peanut brittle!

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Facebook updates...

I want to share this...I came across it on FB:

A good friend will disappear, a great friend will come back!

Miss you D!

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Love this song... :(

I run a comb through my hair
And step out in the street
And the city's the color of flame
In the mid-summer heat, oh yeah

Jennifer's got her daddy's car
She's playing, 'Uptown' on the stereo
We go cruisin' so close
The way they did long ago, my darlin'

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control, baby, baby

When I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Fever's high with the lights down low
Take me over the edge
Make me lose control

We put the top down and park
'Neath the moon in the sky
And the wind is so hot in our hair
Like a fire in July oh yeah

Jennifer's singin', 'Stand by me'
And she knows every single word by heart
Was love always this good?
Or could this be just the start? Oh darlin'

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control, baby, baby

When I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Fever's high with the lights down low
Take me over the edge
Make me lose control

Be my baby comes on, and were movin' in time
And the heat from your touch makes me feel
Like I'm losing my mind oh yeah

And then they played, 'Back in my arms again'
We close our eyes, we start rememberin' when
We start to kiss and now the feeling's intense
And we just pray that this night never ends, oh my darlin'

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control, baby

When I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Fever's high with the lights down low
Take me over the edge
Make me lose control, baby, baby

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control

When I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Fever's high with the lights down low
Take me over the edge
Make me lose control, baby, baby

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control


​
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I miss...

I miss talking to people
I miss chatting about nothing in particular
I miss laughing
I miss being carefree
I miss looking forward to something or someone's call or mail
I miss a lot of other things too...

Its a good day to have me-time.

Business is real slow, so I'm closing shop early, and doing just that.


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Running!

It will be just great if I could get in my car, fill it up and just go away! Urgh! Why must I always do things that upsets the whole effing world!

Nice plans for the weekend just turned haywire, urgh, I'm so angry at myself!

Why can't things just go better? Why do I do and say the things I do?

I want things to be ok, you know, like really good.

And then I end up feeling like the idiot! Even though I only had good intentions...

:(



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BFF...

Ja, ek weet ek is hierdie pyn in die alie deesdae, en ek is jammer!

Ek wil net vir jou se dat jy vir my vreeslik baie beteken. Jy help my met dinge wat niemand anders kan nie. Jy luister, as niemand anders wil nie. Jy praat my moed in. Jy daag net skielik op as ek dit die minste verwag.

Ek is dankbaar vir jou, al wys ek dit baie min.


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Facebook updates...

Look at these, people say the most amazing things on facebook sometimes. It gives hope....

- Before you assume, learn the facts. Before you judge, understand why. Before you hurt someone, feel. Before you speak, think.

- Be blessed and don't stress

- If you love someone, you should never give up on them, even if they make mistakes.

- Matthew 7:7+8

I won't give up on my friends!


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Well...

My knee is giving me problems again, urgh, I am so tired of this! I'm seeing the specialist again today, and I wonder what she is going to say this time. Maybe its a good thing that I have pain...who knows!

I hope business is better, I hope he is ok, I hope my pain stops, I hope and pray God will help...


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Vandag...

My hart is vol pyn en hoop vanoggend. Ek wens ek kon weet wat om meer te doen on dinge reg te maak. Om te help.

Here, ek kry vandag mense wat dink dat daar duiwels in my friend se hart is, Here ek glo hy is lank al klaar met dit. Here laat hul asb dit verstaan?

Hy is bietjie stukkend en ek vra dat U hom sal help? Here asseblief help dat hy sal terugkom?


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Joyce Meyer....

I'm reading a book by Joyce Meyer, and its amazing how she writes, and the words she uses to explain something.

Listen to this...
(Described in my own words)

Only the power of prayer can put God's hand in motion
Only the power of God can change a person's heart
Only the power of God can heal
Only the power of God can bring joy, self fulfillment and wisdom
Only the power of God can bring miracles


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I want to...

I want to talk to you, I really do. I can't find it in my heart to think you are just gone.

Yes, I listened to the story, and I'm sore inside, but I still hope and believe in you. I know this can be fixed. Our God is Almighty and He can and will help you.

Please let Him help you?

I will back off, and give you time and space. I belive there is something in you, that can care and love and dream.

I'm not the type of person to turn and walk away, without trying.

Please open your heart, mind and soul to God? Please let Him show you that we care - a lot?

That is why we are placed in each other's paths....


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Pain

My body aches with the familiar pain, the pain I've had for months....

I'm sick and tired of pain, and it seems I'm going to suffer for some time!

Lord, please fix all the things that are broken? Only You can. I put my trust and hope in You.

Amen

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This man....

A man I don't know from anywhere just walked into Ash's, and I felt scared to death, but also fasinated with his stories.

I guess he is about 70 or 80....and very scary, in a funny way.

He said his been around the world, teaching, visiting universities, belssing things.

Well, I don't believe half his stories, since he is so scary!

He said I must have cinnamon water everywhere?

Great, just great - I'm scared....

I don't want him back here!

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Thinking of...

My thoughts and prayers are with D and S today....

Thank you S for your help again today!

D, I miss you, look after yourself?

Our God is Almighty!


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Nightmares, urgh

Or maybe it was just bad dreams.

I woke up this morning with a fright first and then when I realised it was only bad dreams, I felt such relief, I actually wanted to cry...

It felt so real...and real bad.


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Die weer

Ek le in die bad en luister vir die bubbles wat skiet. Is dit die regte woord? Ag, ek weet nie..

Die weer is soos my gemoed vanoggend. Koud en bewolk, dan is daar nog mis ook.

Daar is twee goed op my agenda wat ek regtig nie van hou nie. Gelukkig is een van hulle klaar. Jip, die lughawe. Ek hou nie daarvan om soontoe te gaan nie. Al die gesigte wat of huil of lag.

Dan is daar die troue.

Ek hou nie van troues nie! Einde, full stop. Dis seker iets in my bloed of iets. Maar ek moet gaan, dit word van my verwag.

Ten minste het ek Ash's....daar kan ek doen soos ek wil en my denke laat gaan waar hulle wil gaan. Waar niemand vir my kan vertel hoe ek moet voel nie.


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PS: I love you

Every time I start watching this movie and I put it off. I cry even though I don't know what the story is about! Ja, its funny how you can't finish a movie...

Maybe I must read the book? But I'm sure it will be even more intense than the movie.

Funny thing is I have the book in Ash's and I look at it daily.

Now I can't fall asleep again - great, just great! And I have an order to pack out in about 8 hours's time....

That is bad english, hehehe, let me rephrase that - an order to unpack!


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I saw this...

''Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.'' Deuteronomy 31:6

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So...

Dit was nou nie 'n baie goeie begin vir Ash's nie! Dis baie stil en ek hoop werklikwaar dis omdat dit die middel van die maand is en ook omdat die weer nou nie wat wonders is nie...

Ek voel redelik teleurgestel, maar ek glo en vertrou die Here sal my help om dit 'n sukses te maak.

Ek dink ek moet adverteer... Miskien is dit omdat ek dit nie gedoen het nie?

My gemoed voel soos die weer, koud en nie baie lekker nie...

Die radio sukkel bietjie met my gunsteling radio stasie, ek kry nie die koffie reg nie, ek bestel boeke en verkoop niks nie, ek dink ek het stront drooggemaak om nie te adverteer nie.

Sorry, ek voel redelik 'af', maar ek glo en vertrou op die Here!

Here help asb?


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Books, books and more boooks....

Have you got any idea how dirty new books are? They smell awfully good, though... ;)

Ash's is about 80% full!

With the help of my BFF things have gone quite good loading prices, sticking price stickers and unpacking lovely-smelly books!

Our backs hurt, our feet hurt and our manicures are not in the best shape - BUT we are loving it!

Now for one more delivery, then Ash's is good to go....

Thank you BFF and Sis for all your help! I won't ever be able to thank you enough!

I have three wishes at this stage in my life....but I'm not telling! I will ask our Heavenly Father for those ;)


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Update...

Jip, sitting at Ash's again, waiting for deliveries...not my favourite past-time, I can assure you.

The weather is absolutely crap! I could do with a duvet and a tv remote control, maybe some 'good' company too..

I'm 99% done with all the to-do's for Ash's. With the opening on Sunday, I must start wrapping up...

The pains in my body is a bit better, having it in one place at a time now, so thank God for that! It seems the new medication is doing it for me ;)

Well, that's me for now.....


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I wanna tell you something...

I have the best BFF in the world!

Even though we fight like cat and dog sometimes, I do love her to bits!

I can't explain to you how much she helps me, even if its just a rub on the shoulder

I wanna tell you that she is great! And I wanna thank God for her!

I would still be sitting around boxes of books if it weren't for her, I would still be standing around trying to decide which carpet to buy, hell, I think I would maybe still be at Clover!

Thank you for everything my friend!

Lots of love


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Redelik gatvol...

Weet jy wat? Ek sou ook redelik gatvol gewees het as ek my suster was!

As iemand die hele dag tjank en moan oor pyn, sou ek sekerlik ook so opgetree het.

Nou vertrou sy my nie meer om haar seuntjie skool toe te vat nie, want sy is bang ek verongeluk hom, want hoe bestuur ek dan as ek so seer het? Dan is sy ook kwaad vir my want ek het my dokter's afspraak nie nagekom nie!

Weet jy wat? Wat kan hulle tog doen om jou te help? Daar is nie gaurentees nie. Sy gaan my in die hospitaal druk en my vol water pomp, en my dan op pille sit! Maar weet jy wat? Ek sal vandag 'n afspraak maak by 'n spesialis en gaan.

Ek is moeg! Moeg vir verwyte, en baklei en om te worry. Ek gaan dit nie meer doen nie, dis nou klaar.

Ash's maak oor 'n week oop, ek sal seker maak alles is gedoen en in die winkel teen einde van die dag, more!

Ek kon nie alles betyds klaar kry nie, maar ek sal seker maak dit is 'n sukses, want die Here gaan my nie nou los nie, ek glo en vertrou op Hom.

Ek glo en vertrou ook dat die Here my gaan gesond maak! Hy gaan!

Amen!

PS: C, ek weet jy wil dit nie hoor nie, maar ek is jammer! Jammer vir alles!


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Here asseblief?

Here help my?

Ek kan nie slaap van pyn nie, dis so ongemaklik seer. Ek wens ek kan bietjie positiewe goed blog, maar die pyn is rerig erg.

Ek weet nie meer wat om te doen nie, Here.

Help my, asseblief, groot asseblief?

Here ek bid vir die pyn, vir die min slaap, vir sommer alles...

Amen


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Our Amazing God!

Here is your word for today:

Verse: Proverbs 16:3

Depend on the Lord in whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

- Whatever you do, make sure you commit it to God and depend on Him.
- Every aspect of life should be undertaken in dependence on God.
- Roll your cares and concerns onto Him.
- He will supply, support, and sustain you.

PRAYER: Lord, I place all my plans and responsibilities into Your hands. I trust that I will succeed as I depend on You. Amen.


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Well...

Its the first morning, in a few weeks, that I did not wake up with severe pain! And honestly? It feels good! The headache is fine and normal, because that is just because I slept too much...

The last of Ash's bookshelves are going in this morning. That is about the last of the interior, only the curtains are left...

Now, its waiting for my books!

I never realised there are so many publishers out there, its actually scary! But I know I will get to know them all, and which books, goes with which supplier.

I'm sorry for being a real B.I.T.C.H this week! Its because I did not know what was happening in my own life! But today, I'm in control again.

Work off a To-Do list, like only I can...hehehehe!


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Agge nee...

Ek het alweer seer, oral!

My voet is seer, my hande....Here asseblief vat dit weg? Here asseblief help?

Dan is ek soo bekommerd oor my BFF, want sy antwoord nie! Ek hoop en bid sy is ok?

Here help asseblief?


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Winnie the pooh said...

Some people care too much, I think it's called love!

Well said Winnie
;)



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Ek is...

Miskien is ek die een wat in 'n gat is, met al my vieslike moods! Ek is regtig vieslik met my vriendin, en ek vra elke keer om verskoning, maar dan gaan doen ek dit weer.

Ek wonder of dit is omdat ek nie meer slaap nie? Of dalk omdat ek net te veel goed het wat dieselfde tyd aan die gang is? Of omdat ek bang is? Of omdat ek nie meer weet hoe om te kommunikeer nie?

Miskien moet ek gaan slaap, ne?

Ek is rerig moeg...


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The pain

It is really unbearable!

I think this is the worst I ever had it

Please Lord help me, I can't anymore. And I have so much to do for Ash's!

Lord my sister is tired because I can't sleep

Pls lord help me? Pls?

Amem!

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Dear Lord

I come to You this morning, asking for Your help?

My Oupa is very ill, and I don't know how to help or how to let my Mom know that we can't help him. Lord, please heal him? Please let him get well again?

Amen!


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Very true words...

Go read this....

Proverbs 10:11


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2:05

I'm awake - again... Lovely!

I tried counting the sheep, but it seems that they are all on vacation! Hehehehe!

So I decided to watch some TV and do rehab...

Better than tossing and turning....


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Pity Parties is klaar...

Jip, dis klaar! Ek is nou klaar met hierdie selfbejammering en om almal om my te blameer vir my lot.

Dit voel eintlik lekker om weer kans te sien om dinge aan te pak, soos wat ek weet ek kan. Die Here het 'n plan en ek gaan sorg dat ek doen presies wat Hy wil he ek moet.

Die struikelblokke op my pad is minor dingetjies en ek sal dit oorkom!

Ja, my lyf is weer vol pyne, maar dis ook iets wat ek kan fix! Ek sal net ophou om te teem daaroor en seker maak ek kry dit nie weer nie. Maar ek moet ook se dat my been voel of hy enige oomblik gaan skeur!

Ek gaan ophou om die mense vir wie ek lief is, grief te gee. Ophou baklei en my oog op die pad hou.

Ek kry vandag my sleutel! Dankie Here, dat my planne nou 'n werklikheid word! Dankie dat U my weereens help in 'n moeilike situasie!

Alles gaan uitwerk!




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Happiness is...

I'm happy and grateful for so many things this morning!

I want to thank God that I woke up this morning with the knowledge that I have an awesome family and amazing friends!

I want to thank God that my BFF found a place she can call home! I know she will be happier there, and I wish I could help her more. She's got amazing plans for her life and I hope and pray that all her wishes will come true!

As from tomorrow, I have this huge responsibility called, Ash's. I'm scared and worried, yes, I am still! But I know God is in control and He will help me and support me, the only way He knows how - All the way!

With the family and friends I have, I know my support system will be there and that with them, and our amazing God, I will make a success of this!

I still believe that 2011 is going to go from strength to strength!

Thank You God! Amen!


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A week in the life of me...

Yes, I know I said I'm not going to do the blog thing for a while, but here I go - again.

I don't know where this week went! I can't believe its Friday already.


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Verandering

Apologies for the english people...

Dinge voel anders. Miskien is dit ek, wie weet? Ek hou rerig nie daarvan nie. Mense wat my ken weet ek sukkel bietjie met verandering. Veral as dit kom by mense vir wie ek omgee.

Die ding is, as jy gewoond is dat iemand sekere dinge doen, en dan skielik op hou, voel dit mos weird, is dit nie? Dit voel dan vir my of mense stadig maar seker begin afstand doen.

Stupid, ne?

Maar dis dinge wat my uit die slaap hou, want as ek gee, gee ek alles. Nie net bietjie op 'n slag nie. Mense wat my ken, weet dit ook. Ek hoop!

Ek praat van niemand in besonder nie, vir die wat nou weer dink, ek praat van een persoon...

Dis maar net iets wat ek wou deel met my blog vandag.

Ek gaan bietjie pouse vat op my blog, want meeste van die tyd tik ek anyway net 'n klomp bollie, hehehehehe! Dis tyd dat ek tyd saam met die Here spandeer, ek doen dit hopeloos te min!

Dis seker Casting Crowns wat aan my hart raak vanoggend! Ek dink dis tyd dat ek ophou met al hierdie stront, en moet begin uitsien na more en alles wat ek wil bereik...

Ek word 39 volgende week, ja, ek is nie een van daai vrouens wat worry dat mense weet hoe oud ek is nie, so ek moet begin om my deurmekaargeid te laat staan...

Ek weet wat ek wil he! Nou moet ek net begin om dit na te jaag!

Verandering? Ek hou nogsteeds nie daarvan nie.

Ek gaan alles insit, vir die mense vir wie ek lief is en vir my toekoms...

Vatso katvis!


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Facebook and Mozzies

O dear, o dear...

What is more frustrating? Mozzies or people going on and on about U2 on Facebook?

What do I think? Both is very overrated!

Hahaha...

Then to top it all? I can't sleep...


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Thank you BFF...

I want to thank her, for being here today.

Thank her for being honest, yes, even though it hurt to hear, it means a lot when she understands me so well.

Thank her for being there to listen, even though I don't say much in return.

Thank her for everything!


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Rain, pls?

I know a few weeks ago I had enough of the rain, that just did not stop for about three weeks...

Funny how it is, that its been so hot, that a bit of rain will be great! Just to cool everything off a bit?

I'm home alone tonight, it feels weird...




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Stumbled upon...

I'm not the type of person that will let boredom get to me, I don't like being bored, that's why I always keep busy with one or the other thing.

I don't like watching TV, but I've done that a lot since I resigned! *Blush* Yes, I confess..

This morning I stumbled upon a dvd series, that my sister got from a friend. It is presented by Gretha Wiid...

I don't think she is a pastor or minister, but I sat watching this series for about five hours! What an eye opener! I feel so much better, more motivated, more blessed!

God has got good things for us, but we can't sit back and wait for it all. We need to work for it, we need to want it, and most important of all we need to ask God for His help and guidance in all of it.

So? I realized this - again! I always do, but sometimes I must stumble upon things to see it again...

It must be God's way to show me things. To not give up hope, to not sit and doubt, but to fight for what I believe in, to hope and pray...

Today was a good-alone-by-myself day!

Thank You God!

I still need to update this blog of mine with news from Ash's - watch this space, there's lots of news!

But, that's me for now....


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Bad dreams...

I had a terrible dream, I woke up crying...

I hate fighting with people I care for!

I'm sorry, I was angry and I had no reason to get all bitchy!


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Rehab..

I think it is an awesome idea to do rehab if you wake up at 3:30 on a Sunday morning.

By the time the sun comes up it is done and you have so much more time for other things.

Jaja! Let's face it, rehab is not my favorite past time, so let's cut the crap! Hehehehehe!

But I'm glad it is nearly done!

Have a good, God-filled Sunday!


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Stars..

The sky is filled with thousands of stars tonight...it is so amazing how God created it all!

I'm tired, but I can't sleep. I think its because my mind is busy with bookshelves, chairs and rent.

And so much more...


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Thought for today

To create more positive results in your life, replace "if only" with "next time"


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She believes in me!

I love it! Even though its a bit sad!

Here it is...

While she lays sleeping
I stay out late at night to play my songs
And sometimes all the nights can be so long
And it`s good when I finally make it home, all alone
While she lays dreaming,
I touch her face across the silver light
I see her dreams that drift upto the sky
And she wakes up to my kiss and I say it`s alright
And I hold her tight.

Chorus
And she believes in me
I`ll never know just what she sees in me,
I told her someday if she was my girl
I could change the world with my songs, but
I was wrong
But she has faith in me
And so I go on trying faithfully
Forever in my heart she will remain
And I hope and pray
I will find a way,find a way

While she lays waiting
I ask myself do I hurt her so
What called me on a long and this lonely road,
Why dont i turn around and head back home where I belong
While she lays crying
For she knows my heart is ripped in two
I`m torn between the things that I should do
She deserves it all and I'd give it if i could, God her love is true

Chorus

While she lays sleeping
While she lays sleeping for me.

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4h50

I'm tired...grrrrr!

Wish I could get back into bed and sleep, but I'm battling to sleep.

My prayer this morning..

Lord,

Thank you for this day, thank You for being with us, for us! Thank You for my friends and family!
Please help us through this day? That we will all have a productive day?

Amen


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Ja wat...

Ek is bietjie negatief, mislik en vertraag, sommer so alles saam.

Ek kry myself seker maar jammer! Urgh! Ek haat dit om so te voel.

Vandag was so lekker, ons het gekuier, kwaliteit tyd saam met mense wat ek lief het, spandeer, maar nou? Nou voel ek soos 'n ou lap...

Ja, soos 'n tipiese oujong nooi!

Vandag mis ek die man en kinders wat ek nie het nie, vandag mis ek die jong-wees dae...

Vandag MIS ek net....

Maar more is 'n nuwe dag, nuwe dinge, nuwe uitdagings!


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A good day!

Today was just one of those blessed days...a good day!

My BFF got a car! She bought some well deserved other things too...

I think she is happy and excited, and that means the world to me. I pray that she will have all the good things with her little car!

We talked, laughed and had a small argument about her choice in shoes, hehehehe!

I couldn't be more blessed with my BFF!

Thank You Lord for her! Thank You that You are watching over her, and for all the help today...

Amen!


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Honesty...

It is one of the easiest and most difficult things in the world, except for saying: Sorry!

Is it too much to ask the people you love to be honest?

If they don't feel like talking, if they don't want to share stuff, if they can't tell you something, even though you know there is something wrong?

If they just back off?

All I ask, the only thing I ask - ever, is for people to be honest with me...

I don't think that's too much to ask? You?

My time for honesty: its the first day, in about a month, I don't have pain! It is amazing, and I want to share that with the world! Thank You God for that!

Maybe I must just work harder to deserve people's honesty....


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Alone with my thoughts

I've got so much alone time...and alone time, turns into thinking time.

Thinking time, turns into wondering time, wishing time and worry time.

So, ja, all these thoughts running through my mind...


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Life changing..

Its been a good day - or so I hope and pray...

I signed my lease today. So Ash's is about to happen, no more talking, now it's the doing part..

There is soo much to do, but I'm up for the challenge!

Floor plans, chairs, cutlery, paint! Yesss, I'm ready for April...

Thank you Lord, for leading me, guiding me! Amen!



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Another one...

Verse: Mark 5:36

Do not be seized with alarm and struck with fear; ONLY BELIEVE!

- Fear robs us of our ability to trust and believe in what God can do.
- Doubt causes us to stumble and fall.
- The great temptation is to doubt God's love.
- Your faith is anchored in God, don't doubt or fear.

PRAYER: Lord, I will believe in You no matter what comes my way. You will help me, You do love me and You will never leave me. Amen.

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Thought for today

I got this on facebook! Its amazing when you feel the way I do today, then wham, God does the talking!

Verse: Isaiah 41:13

For I, the Lord your God, have taken your right hand in Mine, saying to you, 'Have no fear; I will be your helper'.

- God will never, never let go of your hand.
- Don't try to hold God's hand; let Him hold yours.
- You do the trusting and let Him do the holding.
- Like a parent holds the hand of an unstable child, so God holds you.

PRAYER: Lord, on the rough paths of life, it is wonderful to know that You are holding my hand. Amen.


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The Best Mom award

If there's ever been a day I don't ever want again - it was yesterday!
I could have filled a pool with all the tears I cried...

But - like always my Mom left everything she was busy with and rushed
to my side.

I want to thank her for that! And not only for yesterday, for every
single day. The days she laughs with me, cries with me, fights with
me!

I want to thank God for her.

AND...

For the rest of my family and my closets friends!

I have the best of both!

--
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The relaxed state of mind

Its amazing what two days at home can do. I see myself as a housewife, or housewoman! Hehehe! I sleep until seven, have coffee without rushing...

I don't think I will be able to do it permanently, but for now? I'm enjoying it.

My health? Well, it seems I've got some kind of arthritis. Too much acid of some sort in my body...at least now I know why it hurts so bad sometimes. They told me to go see a specialist, but nahhh, I will google it, and make sure I drink and eat the right things.

I'm signing for Ash's on Thursday! Yay! I can't wait! I'm excited and scared at the same time. I saw the chairs I want, and a few other tidbits that will look stunning. I want to start sanding the side board thingy my Oupa gave me, so if anyone have tips on how to renovate and fix it - let me know?

I spent the day with my Oupa, he is getting older by the day, but again, I have the time now, and I'm trying to spent it wisely...

J is back from 17 days at his Dad. Its good to have him back! No more silent house! O, and no more clean house! Its good to have him back, especially for my sister's state of mind...

My far-away friend, is even further away. Or like he said, its not really further than he usually is. Its the time difference, its crap, to put it so bluntly! I miss him...

My BFF found a job, and she is enjoying it! Thank God for that! We have an awesome God!

I pray that all will work out the way its planned, Amen!


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Nice...

"Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect.
There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions.
So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger,
more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful."
Mark Victor Hansen


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Just in general...

I feel so much better! It took me a while to realize that I'm now officially jobless, and that my dream is around the corner...

Ash's is going to be a huge success, with the help of my God, my family and friends!

I found the near perfect chair yesterday, the color and shape will work! I'm looking forward to more Ash's shopping!

But, because of all these mental lists I'm making, I woke up, and now I can't sleep, grrrrr!

I decided that putting the thoughts to paper will work, so I'm starting that now...yes, I know its 1:30am...


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New chapter

The new one is just beginning!

God, please help me to make a success of this? Please help me to make the right decisions, in this new chapter?

Amen.

Now if I could just sleep, that will be perfect...


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So ja...

There's so many things running through my mind at once.

As of tomorrow afternoon, I no longer work for a boss. She said I can
finish tomorrow since they found a replacement for me.

How do I feel? I'm so laid back about it, its actually funny. Not funny in
a laughing kind of way, but sort of sad.

Jip, a 20 year chapter is closing, and a new one will begin soon.

So ja, that was my first career...

It is wonderful that I don't have any pain left in my body! Thank God for
that...I've been so grumpy. I slept for the first time in a week or two,
and I feel so much better.

And it seems that I will have a lot of sleep in the next week or five,
because I don't have to wake up at 4am anymore...

So ja, that's it. I think.

PS: Far-far-away friend, you're in my thoughts and prayers!

Flip, it's sore!

I can't wake up like this anymore!
Its soo very sore!

It moved from my right shoulder, to my left elbow, to my left hand, from
there to my left shoulder!

Now its my left foot!

:(

The future..

They say we must live in the present, not in the future. Wish it was as
easy as it sounds.

In 20 day's time my life is taking on a completely new direction. That is
scary...

But one thing I will not allow to change is the time with the people I love
and care for.

They are my support system, a part of my future...

My prayer this morning...

Dear Lord,

Thank You for a good weekend, thank You for my family and friends! Thank
You for a roof over our heads, thank You for being the power that drives
me!

Lord, I will hopefully know about the shop today. Lord, can I ask that it
will be, as is in Your perfect plan?

Lord, I ask that You go with all the people I love? Protect, guide and keep
them safe? Protect their health? Help them to be happy?

Lord, thank You that You are our Lord and Saviour!

Amen

Urgh!

I'm stuck with a flat tyre!!

That is going to take a while...

Weekend on hold for a bit!

So baie goed..

Ek is bekommerd oor so baie vanoggend! Ek wens ek kon net beter voel?

Eerstens is daar my familie. Hulle beteken vir my die wereld, regtig hulle
doen. Maar, hulle wil my lewe regeer soos dit hulle pas. Wie ek moet ken,
wat ek moet doen en die ergste van alles, wat om met my tyd te doen. Ek ken
van prioriteite, ek doen! En ek weet dis die belangrikste om hulle eerste
te sit, maar wanneer is dit my beurt? Wanneer gaan hulle besef dat ek amper
39 jaar oud is? Ek dank die Here elke dag vir hulle! Maak nie saak hoe ek
soms voel nie, hulle sal altyd eerste wees..

Ek het twee van die wonderlikste vriende, twee mense wat ek baie lief het.
Hulle luister as ek teem en huil en ook wanneer ek net plain 'n koei is!
Hulle stel geen voorwaardes nie. Ek dink hulle ken my eintlik baie goed. Ek
wens ek kon meer tyd saam my BFF spandeer, maar dis bietjie moeilik, veral
nou. So ons gesels maar op die foon... My ander vriend dink hy vat te veel
van my tyd! Ek glo nie hy besef wat ek voel en dink nie... Dan is ek ook
bang dat ons altyd net gaan pen-vriende wees...

Ek is bang vir die einde van die maand, want ek moet wag vir geld om met
Ash's te begin... Dit is scary, want ek kan nie net aanneem dat ek elke
maand 'n salaris gaan trek nie. Ja, ek gaan nie skuld he nie, maar ek het
nogsteeds geld nodig om te lewe.

Vanoggend wil ek alles wat ek het, en die mense vir wie ek so vreeslik lief
het, aan die Here se voete le. Here pas hulle op, vertel asb vir hulle hoe
lief ek hulle het?

Sonder hulle is ek nie veel nie, en sonder U, Here is ek absoluut nilks!

Maar? Alles gaan ok wees en alled gaan uitwerk!

Goodluck!

My BFF found a job!

Thank you God!

I pray for her today. That she will be happy there and that she will enjoy
it. I know she will make a huge success of it!

May God bless you and keep you, S!

Lafsu!

Thank you...

Its the first morning in more than a week, that I woke up without pain!
Thank you Lord! I could get out of bed without crying..
I could do my own make up and hair!

There is something bothering my BFF and she is not talking. I hope and pray
that she is feeling better today. We can't give up, S! Its not right, we
can't doubt the Lord. So whatever it is, I hope you can talk about it, I
really do!

Today is my exit interview, what and how I'm going to handle it, I don't
know...

I feel excited this morning! For my family, friends and Ash's...

Bible's description of Friends!

Friends, according to the original sense of the Hebrew word, are those who delight in each other's company.  Either they are useful to each other because the one possesses gifts that the other lacks, or they have certain tastes in common.

It is in friendship that we get to know ourselves, as a man sees his face in the mirror of calm water.  We unfold to each other, our friend elicits traits of which we are hardly aware. Our sympathy and tenderness are drawn forth by our friend's troubles, as our laughter flashes out to awaken or to answer his high spirits.  

We shudder to think what cold and undeveloped beings we should be without the sharpening of friendship.

How sweet human friendships are!

To read:
Proverbs 27:6, 9-10, 14, 17 & 19

Today...

I did it - I resigned...

Sjoe, that was absolutely a very difficult thing to do! This was 20 years
of my life...

If I can just stop shaking it will help!

First day of the year!

Yes, that was the first day of 2011! Its scary how quickly the festive
season come to a close!

For most people its back to work on Monday, so I'm sure traffic will be
back in full force.

My resignation is typed, printed, signed and sealed. Ready for delivery on
monday morning. The question is, will she tell me to go? Well I really hope
not! I will definitely feel like a dog that's been chased away...

But there is not much I can do about it, is there?

2011!

I'm listening to my BFF snoring.. Hehehehe!

Its the first day, of the new year, and I can feel that this is going to be
the year where dreams are going to come true!

God bless all the people I love, please?