Urgh!

Ek is so gefrustreerd dit is nie eers snaaks nie. Ek haat dit om so te voel! Ek is bekommerd oor die winkel en of ek die regte ding doen? Ek het vandag nog nie een klient gehad nie, en die syfers vir die maand is nie wat wonders nie. Ek kan nie aanhoudend uit my spaargeld, geld vat vir voorraad ens nie! Ja, ek het helfte van my huur afslag gekry, maar daar is soveel uitgawes! Here, jaag asb die duiwel weg? Hy is besig om my so af te takel en ek kan dit nie meer alleen doen nie. Here asb?

Dan voel dit asof D net weg is! Asof hy aanbeweeg het en my agter gelaat het! Ek wens ek het geweet waaraan hy dink en of daar enige gevoel oor is binne hom! Ek weet nie meer wat om te dink nie, ek sal nooit ophou hoop nie, maar dit is al meer as 'n maand, dit voel soos 'n ewigheid! Here, asb bring hom terug? Ek weet ek is ongeduldig en wil so graag die tyd aanjaag, maar U het U eie tyd vir als...

Ek kry koud en ek is verveeld! Dit is die eerste keer wat ek so voel vandat ek Ash's het. Dit is verkeerd, hierdie is my brood en botter en ek moet hiervan 'n sukses maak!

Ek voel so buite beheer! Urgh! Hoe kan ek maak om beter te voel? Hoe kan ek maak om dinge reg te maak? Die regte besluite te neem?

Here asb help?


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At home...

Back at home after a relaxing weekend. I think it did me the world of good to spend time with the family. I'm glad we did not fight, because we normally do, or wait, that's not true. We always enjoy time together, even when we disagree.

Saw amazing animals, a kudu was so close this morning, I could have touched it. The Giraffes are my favorite, and we got to see them too...

My BFF did a very good job at Ash's, like usual - thanx for that S!

Thought about a lot of things, and I spend some quiet time.

PS: I still miss D....


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Hornbull...

Pretty...
@ Dikhololo


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Cold...

It is freezing today! I think its one of the coldest days we've had in a long time. Having Ash's means open doors, so customers can see you're open, so I'm sitting here, feeling like a block of ice.

Last night's Bible study went very well! Thank you Lord! I hope we can help this girl that joined us, she seems so lost and alone..

I'm thinking a lot about D...since yesterday, it feels like years since the last time we spoke. I miss our chats, our laughs and the friendship. I wish there was something I could do or say to fix things. I miss him, I do. And I'm not going to lose faith.

Too many people just let go, I can't and won't be like that.

Please Lord, help?


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No idea what to call this...

I just finished ironing, and I'm tired, but I don't feel like sleeping.

Have you seen Balto? Its an animation movie, based on a true story. For those that know me, you know I'm not into animations, but I must say that was a really good one. Cried a bit too. No wonder some people say that a dog is a man's best friend...

Well, I prefer human friends (not saying I don't like dogs)!

I decided not to go back to Pretoria for the program. I can't leave Ash's on a weekly basis, and then there are th e side effects of the medication.

I'm going to trust in the Lord, to help me. I will be ok...

I still miss D a lot!

Oor en uit....

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What must I do?!

I'm so fed up with this guinea-pig stuff! Yes, already...

Now I must got to Pretoria again, so they can book me into hospital for a day and a half! Who is gonna look after Ash's? What must I do?

I can't expect my family and friends to take off work so I can MAYBE go on a program!

Urgh, I'm so disgusted!


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I'm here...

I'm in Pretoria to go on a gunea-pig program for my arthritis...lovely.

Since I drove here all by myself, the drive was quiet and I had a lot of time to think.

Thinking about D, my sister going for an interview, and my BFF.

My family, D and my BFF is so important, I don't think they realize how much...

I feel emotional, and not about the program.


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So true...

I found this on FB - again!

by Aaron Chavez Nobody can live life backwards! There is absolutely nothing you can do about your past mistakes or decisions. God is a forgiving God. God does not hold a grudge so don't feel so bad about your past. God only cares about how you live your life NOW and in the FUTURE!

And I've got this to add

When you care and love a person, you also don't care about past mistakes/decisions...you forgive! And keep loving and caring...


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Sleep, maybe...

Maybe its a good idea if I go to bed? For the past few weeks, I either woke up at the most awful times, or I slept and was wide awake by 4am.

Or maybe its because I'm worried most of the time?

So, maybe going to bed early will help...

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Sover...thus far...

Hoekom ek en my vriendin so haaks is, sal net die spoke weet. Sodra ek dink dinge gaan beter dan gebeur daar weer iets wat ons twee stappe terug sit. Ek hoop en bid ons kan dinge uitsorteer.

My tooth-hole is still sore, I don't know why its still burning. I've been rinsing with salt, like a salt addict, but it is not healing. Maybe it will take more time? I need to be patient. Not just with this hole, but with a few more things. It is getting to the point where I want things to hurry along...I know, God has got His own plan, and time.

I need to start cleaning the shop, its working on my nerves, but as soon as I'm done with one thing, another plan or idea starts forming...that's a good thing?

Jayden was in trane toe ek hom afgelaai het vanoggend, dit breek my hart. Here, asb moenie dat Jean weer begin met sy stories nie? Ek het vir hom so paar hempies gaan koop, hopelik beur dit hom op..

I bought a Third Day CD yesterday...I must say I like it, even though I didn't when I listened to it the first time.

I'm starting my tests as a guinea-pig on Thursday...I don't even know what to expect. And then I'm worried about the time I will be gone from the shop..

My 21 dae van VAS is amper verby. Ek moet se, ek mis rerig koffie, maar ek wil iets vir God terugdoen, en vir Hom wys Hy is my enigste God! Ek vra Hom vir so baie dinge, en dis sommer ook deel van dankie se.

D - I miss you, very much!

That's me, for this blog. May the Lord be with everyone I love, Amen...


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Friday...

Can't believe people are so superstitious about Friday being the 13th...grrrr.

My mouth is sore, and its still bleeding - just great! But that is what happens if you lose a tooth because of some peanut brittle!

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Facebook updates...

I want to share this...I came across it on FB:

A good friend will disappear, a great friend will come back!

Miss you D!

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Love this song... :(

I run a comb through my hair
And step out in the street
And the city's the color of flame
In the mid-summer heat, oh yeah

Jennifer's got her daddy's car
She's playing, 'Uptown' on the stereo
We go cruisin' so close
The way they did long ago, my darlin'

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control, baby, baby

When I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Fever's high with the lights down low
Take me over the edge
Make me lose control

We put the top down and park
'Neath the moon in the sky
And the wind is so hot in our hair
Like a fire in July oh yeah

Jennifer's singin', 'Stand by me'
And she knows every single word by heart
Was love always this good?
Or could this be just the start? Oh darlin'

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control, baby, baby

When I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Fever's high with the lights down low
Take me over the edge
Make me lose control

Be my baby comes on, and were movin' in time
And the heat from your touch makes me feel
Like I'm losing my mind oh yeah

And then they played, 'Back in my arms again'
We close our eyes, we start rememberin' when
We start to kiss and now the feeling's intense
And we just pray that this night never ends, oh my darlin'

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control, baby

When I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Fever's high with the lights down low
Take me over the edge
Make me lose control, baby, baby

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control

When I look in your eyes, I go crazy
Fever's high with the lights down low
Take me over the edge
Make me lose control, baby, baby

Turn the radio up for that sweet sound
Hold me close never let me go
Keep this feelin' alive
Make me lose control


​
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I miss...

I miss talking to people
I miss chatting about nothing in particular
I miss laughing
I miss being carefree
I miss looking forward to something or someone's call or mail
I miss a lot of other things too...

Its a good day to have me-time.

Business is real slow, so I'm closing shop early, and doing just that.


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Running!

It will be just great if I could get in my car, fill it up and just go away! Urgh! Why must I always do things that upsets the whole effing world!

Nice plans for the weekend just turned haywire, urgh, I'm so angry at myself!

Why can't things just go better? Why do I do and say the things I do?

I want things to be ok, you know, like really good.

And then I end up feeling like the idiot! Even though I only had good intentions...

:(



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BFF...

Ja, ek weet ek is hierdie pyn in die alie deesdae, en ek is jammer!

Ek wil net vir jou se dat jy vir my vreeslik baie beteken. Jy help my met dinge wat niemand anders kan nie. Jy luister, as niemand anders wil nie. Jy praat my moed in. Jy daag net skielik op as ek dit die minste verwag.

Ek is dankbaar vir jou, al wys ek dit baie min.


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Facebook updates...

Look at these, people say the most amazing things on facebook sometimes. It gives hope....

- Before you assume, learn the facts. Before you judge, understand why. Before you hurt someone, feel. Before you speak, think.

- Be blessed and don't stress

- If you love someone, you should never give up on them, even if they make mistakes.

- Matthew 7:7+8

I won't give up on my friends!


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Well...

My knee is giving me problems again, urgh, I am so tired of this! I'm seeing the specialist again today, and I wonder what she is going to say this time. Maybe its a good thing that I have pain...who knows!

I hope business is better, I hope he is ok, I hope my pain stops, I hope and pray God will help...


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Vandag...

My hart is vol pyn en hoop vanoggend. Ek wens ek kon weet wat om meer te doen on dinge reg te maak. Om te help.

Here, ek kry vandag mense wat dink dat daar duiwels in my friend se hart is, Here ek glo hy is lank al klaar met dit. Here laat hul asb dit verstaan?

Hy is bietjie stukkend en ek vra dat U hom sal help? Here asseblief help dat hy sal terugkom?


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