How to get rid of...

As soon as I start thinking things are turning a bit towards the positive side, I get knocked back a few, or a lot. It is as if things and people around me just keep going and moving and I am used as a stepping stone. Life in general feels like I am breathing and I am 'here' but that is about that for me.

Why is it that other people are always ahead in this game? At work they do the bare minimum and always get the better options or the better duties. Why is it that I work my ass off and get nowhere? The worst of all is the attitude I get back. The look-at-me I win again. I am so very unhappy in my job. What would it be like to just get a Well Done once in a while? To be asked for an opinion? Not to be taken for granted?

But when the shit hits the fan I am the one that is the "senior" person. The one that takes the hit?

I am so very unhappy!

 

 

Kind regards,

 

Natasha van der Walt

Sales

Tel: +27 11 964 2302/3

Alt: +72 716 8538

Fax: 086 570 3713

e-mail: natasha.vdwalt@eggsperteggs.co.za

 

 

 

Kind regards,

 

Natasha van der Walt

Sales

Tel: +27 11 964 2302/3

Alt: +72 716 8538

Fax: 086 570 3713

e-mail: natasha.vdwalt@eggsperteggs.co.za

 

2017...

Welcome to a new year with new challenges, hopes and dreams. In God I believe that it will be another good one.

I did not end last year on a good note, I went to bed with my sister not talking to me. And again it was all my doing. Why? Because I am scared she gets used and hurt. I need to let it go. I really do. She said she is in control and that she knows how she feels...so if it is true then I must stop. It is not worth it to loose my sister over this. If she is happy I must accept what it is. I think I am selfish. I also think she derserve much better.

I truly hope she will talk to me when she wakes up this morning...but I don't think she will. Maybe I do deserve the cold and silent shoulder treatment.

A few things for me to do in this new year. I must smoke less (or maybe it is time to stop smoking). I want to build my relationships with the people I know (not that that started off well). I want to know God. Better and better. I need to try and loose weight. Sounds a lot like the same old same old new year resolutions. But I am going to try them....and I need to make them stick.

I truly love my family and friends deeply. They deserve to be happy. They deserve to be themselves. Not what I want them to be.

Please God...help me to be better? Please? Please help me to accept?