I find me guilty...

You know...I just realized again that we are very very guilty. Yes...guilty.

We are terribly selfish!

I dont have money...
I am not happy...
How they treat me...
It is not fair...
I do all I can...
I can not do this anymore...
What I gave you...
What I do for them...
But I need this...
I want that...

And so we go on and on and on!

So I find myself and others guilty!

We all deserve happiness. We all derserve unconditional love and devotion. We all deserve to be listened to and to be respected. We all deserve forgiveness and most of all...we all deserve not to be judged!

But even though we know all this we judge and hurt with words and actions. We are not made to be the judge of others!

It is not just about you..or me.

We are guilty!

We need to love and care and yes, we need to think before we say something. Before we do something.

Life does not owe us anything!

Happiness start within ourselves.

Dont let others steal your joy. Dont let others judge you and find you guilty - it is not their right to do so!

God? Please help me to stop with all these 'wrong' things and 'wrong' thoughts and even worse - wrong actions? I am sorry...

I really am sorry....

Dreams and things...

I dream a lot these past few weeks. Weird dreams, but they can't be called nightmares. They make me feel tired in the mornings and they stay in my mind throughout the day. Why they stay with me, I think, is because I dream of people that played a huge part in my life, the 'people I used to know' list.

I can't say that the dreams make me miss them, or that I want to make contact with them. Or that it makes me sad, angry or wistful. It actually makes me sit and frown at myself, or rather frown upon my thoughts, because it is so weird not having feelings about it. But still, it takes up so much of my 'me time'.

Now I'm tired because of dreams...

I do sleep, but I don't rest? Does that make sense?

So here I am...having a smoke and really hoping not to have dreams when I go to sleep tonight.