Needs...

I just realized that I cry every single day. I feel sad and I'm sore, the pain is like constant. I pray, and I cry. That's wrong, isn't it? I need to believe and hope in Jesus!

I have so much to be thankful for, but I keep on with all these worries! I hate feeling like this, I do.

I'm happy, but, there is always a but! No! This must stop...

Here I go again...BUT how?

Jesus, please help me? Jesus, please heal me?

Amen.


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My journey...

Life is a journey, we all know that, and I've been thinking about it a lot these days. We have so much to be thankful for and I wish I could be more positive about a lot of things.

First of all there is this stupid RA! I've been on cortisone treatment for more or less, five weeks, and I felt great! No pain, I could get up in the mornings and feel well the whole day, I could sleep. But now I'm not on that anymore and the pain is back, back with a vengeance. I started the new treatment nearly a week ago, and they said it will only start working in another three weeks. Not so great, I'm sore, I can't sleep and the winter weather is really getting me down. I cry a lot, and that is just plain irritating!

I gave my healing to Jesus! I know He will heal me, and I know I will be ok. He is my rock and my Savior. I will wait, and I know it's ok to cry a bit, because He understands!

I can't control how people react or how they make decisions. How they changed or how they want to go about a friendship that is just 'not anymore'. I tried talking, I did. But it seems that I can't save it. It bothers me. It hurts me. But I don't know what to do no more. It is so sad. I didn't make the decision to end it.

I love my family, I like my job. I want to live my life in a more positive way. I want to make the most of my God giving journey!

Jesus, I need your help. You know what's in my heart...


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Kortisone?

Ek kan nie slaap nie, en dit is nie lekker nie. Ek is moeg, maar ek kry net nie my le nie.

My sussie en haar seuntjie ry more met vakansie, en dalk is ek maar net bekommerd oor hulle? Sy is nou nie eintlik die mens met die meeste rigting-hou nie. Ek het vir haar aanwysings neergeskryf en sy het 'n TomTom gekoop. Ek glo en vertrou hulle gaan veilig daar aankom. En dit sommer woes baie geniet, want hulle verdien dit!

Vandag is die eerste dag wat ek nie kortisone drink nie, miskien is dit hoekom ek nie kan slaap nie? Ek weet nie, dalk is ek maar net stupid? Die ding is net dat ek dit vir meer as 'n maand gedrink het? Ag, ekke weet nie.

More begin ek met nuwe medikasie. Sal maar sien? Ne?

Jesus, U weet wat my pla en waarvoor ek bang is. Jesus, ek slaan my oe op na U, want ek weet dis waar ons hulp vandaan kom! Amen!


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