Urgh!

Ek is so gefrustreerd dit is nie eers snaaks nie. Ek haat dit om so te voel! Ek is bekommerd oor die winkel en of ek die regte ding doen? Ek het vandag nog nie een klient gehad nie, en die syfers vir die maand is nie wat wonders nie. Ek kan nie aanhoudend uit my spaargeld, geld vat vir voorraad ens nie! Ja, ek het helfte van my huur afslag gekry, maar daar is soveel uitgawes! Here, jaag asb die duiwel weg? Hy is besig om my so af te takel en ek kan dit nie meer alleen doen nie. Here asb?

Dan voel dit asof D net weg is! Asof hy aanbeweeg het en my agter gelaat het! Ek wens ek het geweet waaraan hy dink en of daar enige gevoel oor is binne hom! Ek weet nie meer wat om te dink nie, ek sal nooit ophou hoop nie, maar dit is al meer as 'n maand, dit voel soos 'n ewigheid! Here, asb bring hom terug? Ek weet ek is ongeduldig en wil so graag die tyd aanjaag, maar U het U eie tyd vir als...

Ek kry koud en ek is verveeld! Dit is die eerste keer wat ek so voel vandat ek Ash's het. Dit is verkeerd, hierdie is my brood en botter en ek moet hiervan 'n sukses maak!

Ek voel so buite beheer! Urgh! Hoe kan ek maak om beter te voel? Hoe kan ek maak om dinge reg te maak? Die regte besluite te neem?

Here asb help?


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At home...

Back at home after a relaxing weekend. I think it did me the world of good to spend time with the family. I'm glad we did not fight, because we normally do, or wait, that's not true. We always enjoy time together, even when we disagree.

Saw amazing animals, a kudu was so close this morning, I could have touched it. The Giraffes are my favorite, and we got to see them too...

My BFF did a very good job at Ash's, like usual - thanx for that S!

Thought about a lot of things, and I spend some quiet time.

PS: I still miss D....


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Hornbull...

Pretty...
@ Dikhololo


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Cold...

It is freezing today! I think its one of the coldest days we've had in a long time. Having Ash's means open doors, so customers can see you're open, so I'm sitting here, feeling like a block of ice.

Last night's Bible study went very well! Thank you Lord! I hope we can help this girl that joined us, she seems so lost and alone..

I'm thinking a lot about D...since yesterday, it feels like years since the last time we spoke. I miss our chats, our laughs and the friendship. I wish there was something I could do or say to fix things. I miss him, I do. And I'm not going to lose faith.

Too many people just let go, I can't and won't be like that.

Please Lord, help?


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No idea what to call this...

I just finished ironing, and I'm tired, but I don't feel like sleeping.

Have you seen Balto? Its an animation movie, based on a true story. For those that know me, you know I'm not into animations, but I must say that was a really good one. Cried a bit too. No wonder some people say that a dog is a man's best friend...

Well, I prefer human friends (not saying I don't like dogs)!

I decided not to go back to Pretoria for the program. I can't leave Ash's on a weekly basis, and then there are th e side effects of the medication.

I'm going to trust in the Lord, to help me. I will be ok...

I still miss D a lot!

Oor en uit....

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What must I do?!

I'm so fed up with this guinea-pig stuff! Yes, already...

Now I must got to Pretoria again, so they can book me into hospital for a day and a half! Who is gonna look after Ash's? What must I do?

I can't expect my family and friends to take off work so I can MAYBE go on a program!

Urgh, I'm so disgusted!


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I'm here...

I'm in Pretoria to go on a gunea-pig program for my arthritis...lovely.

Since I drove here all by myself, the drive was quiet and I had a lot of time to think.

Thinking about D, my sister going for an interview, and my BFF.

My family, D and my BFF is so important, I don't think they realize how much...

I feel emotional, and not about the program.


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