Please...

The pain is so constant again. When I sit it's sore. When I get up it's sore. When I walk and stand...

I have this knob under my foot. It's painfull and uncomfortable.

Please God take it away...please?

Fwd: Positive thoughts...

I woke up this morning and realized again that life is precious.  I have this ability to complain, not out loud, but within myself, as soon as I wake up.  If it is not icy cold, my body is caught up in pain or I'm just too tired for whatever reason.  Well that is stopping today.  I will get up with a positive attitude and I will stop complaining.  And of course I will stop crying because of all these negative things.  I have this pain thing going and I need to make the most of it.  God will heal me when His time is right.  At least I can say that the pain is better with the chemo and other new medication.  For that I am eternally grateful.  God is good all the time.

 

I'm looking forward to summer.  I believe this summer is going to be the start of many changes.  For one thing it will be grand to see the sun rising, and not get to work when it is still half dark outside.  My Mom is officially on pension and that is also going to be a change for all of us.  Our little boy is going to big school in the new year and Ouma can't wait to spend more time with him.  Even when it means that she will be going 'back to school'as well, helping with homework and all the other school things.  She is excited and it is good that she can look forward to this challenge.  She is on holiday in Mosselbaai, and we miss her stacks, can't wait to see her next weekend.  Our 'little boy' is growing up so fast, it is amazing how they are doing sums and spelling already.  That he can write his name and surname, that he can have this debate with you, to inform you with great confidence that a shark is not a 'soogdier' (sorry can't remember the word I'm looking for in English).  He is a gift from our Lord above, a reminder why we are here, why we love and care.  His Mom is the center of his life.  A great Mother.  The way she can play rugby with him, the way she can calm him down when bad dreams wakes him.  I can't ask for a better sister and BFF.  She is great…

 

Work is going well.  Not much excitement really.  I thought it will be more of a challenge, because the business is growing daily, but we are not there yet.  The people I work with is friendly and likeable, except the one girl, a real 'gatkruiper' and pain in the butt.  Im really trying to like her and to keep my issues with her to myself.  But, ja, we will see.  I appointed her, so I need to live with it.  The farm is peaceful, and very little rules apply. 

 

I think that is enough 'babble' for one day…. I'm sure I will have more exciting things to blog about – soon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fear and hospitals...

So my RA is bad now. Im not sure if it is my depression regarding it or just the pain. Or maybe just both. Im real scared because I must go into hospital for tests....im truly scared.

Jesus, please help me? Please let there be nothing wrong with me other than my RA? Please Father? Jesus please heal me? Only U can fix me...

Amen

Whoever might be reading this blog, please say a prayer for me?

Hoe dan nou?

Die eerste keer wat ek blog van my nuwe foon af, en dit gaan redelik stadig want ek dink my vingers is te groot vir die keypad. Sal seker nog gewoond raak daraan....ek mis my blackberry.

My rug en skouers begin stadig maar seker beter word. Ek glo nou dat ek die pille reg drink, dit sommer gou gaan begin werk. Ek het alles, maar alles te danke aan ons Almagtige Jesus! Ek loof en prys U wonderlike naam!

Nou kan ek net werklik begin werk aan my gedagtes. Begin om hierdie negatiewe dinge uit en weg te werk en weg te dink.

Dan....

Hoekom het sy nie eers vir my vertel dat sy hier gaan wees nie? Ons kon seker iewers 'n tydjie kon kry om ten minste te gaan koffie drink? Dis moeilik om te verstaan, moeilik om te sluk....

Needs...

I just realized that I cry every single day. I feel sad and I'm sore, the pain is like constant. I pray, and I cry. That's wrong, isn't it? I need to believe and hope in Jesus!

I have so much to be thankful for, but I keep on with all these worries! I hate feeling like this, I do.

I'm happy, but, there is always a but! No! This must stop...

Here I go again...BUT how?

Jesus, please help me? Jesus, please heal me?

Amen.


Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

My journey...

Life is a journey, we all know that, and I've been thinking about it a lot these days. We have so much to be thankful for and I wish I could be more positive about a lot of things.

First of all there is this stupid RA! I've been on cortisone treatment for more or less, five weeks, and I felt great! No pain, I could get up in the mornings and feel well the whole day, I could sleep. But now I'm not on that anymore and the pain is back, back with a vengeance. I started the new treatment nearly a week ago, and they said it will only start working in another three weeks. Not so great, I'm sore, I can't sleep and the winter weather is really getting me down. I cry a lot, and that is just plain irritating!

I gave my healing to Jesus! I know He will heal me, and I know I will be ok. He is my rock and my Savior. I will wait, and I know it's ok to cry a bit, because He understands!

I can't control how people react or how they make decisions. How they changed or how they want to go about a friendship that is just 'not anymore'. I tried talking, I did. But it seems that I can't save it. It bothers me. It hurts me. But I don't know what to do no more. It is so sad. I didn't make the decision to end it.

I love my family, I like my job. I want to live my life in a more positive way. I want to make the most of my God giving journey!

Jesus, I need your help. You know what's in my heart...


Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Kortisone?

Ek kan nie slaap nie, en dit is nie lekker nie. Ek is moeg, maar ek kry net nie my le nie.

My sussie en haar seuntjie ry more met vakansie, en dalk is ek maar net bekommerd oor hulle? Sy is nou nie eintlik die mens met die meeste rigting-hou nie. Ek het vir haar aanwysings neergeskryf en sy het 'n TomTom gekoop. Ek glo en vertrou hulle gaan veilig daar aankom. En dit sommer woes baie geniet, want hulle verdien dit!

Vandag is die eerste dag wat ek nie kortisone drink nie, miskien is dit hoekom ek nie kan slaap nie? Ek weet nie, dalk is ek maar net stupid? Die ding is net dat ek dit vir meer as 'n maand gedrink het? Ag, ekke weet nie.

More begin ek met nuwe medikasie. Sal maar sien? Ne?

Jesus, U weet wat my pla en waarvoor ek bang is. Jesus, ek slaan my oe op na U, want ek weet dis waar ons hulp vandaan kom! Amen!


Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device