Hoe dan nou?

Die eerste keer wat ek blog van my nuwe foon af, en dit gaan redelik stadig want ek dink my vingers is te groot vir die keypad. Sal seker nog gewoond raak daraan....ek mis my blackberry.

My rug en skouers begin stadig maar seker beter word. Ek glo nou dat ek die pille reg drink, dit sommer gou gaan begin werk. Ek het alles, maar alles te danke aan ons Almagtige Jesus! Ek loof en prys U wonderlike naam!

Nou kan ek net werklik begin werk aan my gedagtes. Begin om hierdie negatiewe dinge uit en weg te werk en weg te dink.

Dan....

Hoekom het sy nie eers vir my vertel dat sy hier gaan wees nie? Ons kon seker iewers 'n tydjie kon kry om ten minste te gaan koffie drink? Dis moeilik om te verstaan, moeilik om te sluk....

Needs...

I just realized that I cry every single day. I feel sad and I'm sore, the pain is like constant. I pray, and I cry. That's wrong, isn't it? I need to believe and hope in Jesus!

I have so much to be thankful for, but I keep on with all these worries! I hate feeling like this, I do.

I'm happy, but, there is always a but! No! This must stop...

Here I go again...BUT how?

Jesus, please help me? Jesus, please heal me?

Amen.


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My journey...

Life is a journey, we all know that, and I've been thinking about it a lot these days. We have so much to be thankful for and I wish I could be more positive about a lot of things.

First of all there is this stupid RA! I've been on cortisone treatment for more or less, five weeks, and I felt great! No pain, I could get up in the mornings and feel well the whole day, I could sleep. But now I'm not on that anymore and the pain is back, back with a vengeance. I started the new treatment nearly a week ago, and they said it will only start working in another three weeks. Not so great, I'm sore, I can't sleep and the winter weather is really getting me down. I cry a lot, and that is just plain irritating!

I gave my healing to Jesus! I know He will heal me, and I know I will be ok. He is my rock and my Savior. I will wait, and I know it's ok to cry a bit, because He understands!

I can't control how people react or how they make decisions. How they changed or how they want to go about a friendship that is just 'not anymore'. I tried talking, I did. But it seems that I can't save it. It bothers me. It hurts me. But I don't know what to do no more. It is so sad. I didn't make the decision to end it.

I love my family, I like my job. I want to live my life in a more positive way. I want to make the most of my God giving journey!

Jesus, I need your help. You know what's in my heart...


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Kortisone?

Ek kan nie slaap nie, en dit is nie lekker nie. Ek is moeg, maar ek kry net nie my le nie.

My sussie en haar seuntjie ry more met vakansie, en dalk is ek maar net bekommerd oor hulle? Sy is nou nie eintlik die mens met die meeste rigting-hou nie. Ek het vir haar aanwysings neergeskryf en sy het 'n TomTom gekoop. Ek glo en vertrou hulle gaan veilig daar aankom. En dit sommer woes baie geniet, want hulle verdien dit!

Vandag is die eerste dag wat ek nie kortisone drink nie, miskien is dit hoekom ek nie kan slaap nie? Ek weet nie, dalk is ek maar net stupid? Die ding is net dat ek dit vir meer as 'n maand gedrink het? Ag, ekke weet nie.

More begin ek met nuwe medikasie. Sal maar sien? Ne?

Jesus, U weet wat my pla en waarvoor ek bang is. Jesus, ek slaan my oe op na U, want ek weet dis waar ons hulp vandaan kom! Amen!


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Winter...

Dit reen en is koud. Yskoud. Gister was nog somer, en toe ek vanoggend wakker word, het die seisoen so gou verander. Dis die tipe koue wat deur mure kruip, en vir 'n paar maande sy tuiste maak.

Ek skryf deesdae seker 'n week lank aan 'n blog, dis soos met lees, ek wil so graag net in my bed klim en lees en lees, maar ek kan net nie.

My kop is te besig, ek dink baie...dalk net hopeloos te veel.

Ek is bang, en hartseer en ek voel meeste van die tyd nie lekker nie.

Ek wil net so graag met iemand praat, met S praat, soos altyd, die persoon met wie ek alles kon deel, jy weet?

Maar dis nou seker vir altyd weg....



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Just want to say...

The pain is unbearable! I really want it to go away :'(

It's non-stop, it hurts and I wanna cry, but I'm trying to be strong.

I really am trying....


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Verandering van seisoene...

Dit reen al vir so drie dae, en met dit bring dit koel oggende. Die wolke is weer dik van reen, en ek glo vandag gaan ons weer geseend wees met donderstorms.

Dis so snaaks dat gevoelens en mense nes die seisoene ook verander, ook anders word en optree. Dat mense kom en gaan, in jou lewe wil wees en dan besluit dis nie meer waar hulle wil wees nie. Nes die wind waai...


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