Insomniac-ness

I've been battling to sleep for a few months now, and every time I can't sleep, I try to figure out why.

Well, tonight it can be the wind howling outside. I can feel it through the windows. Funny, I know, because they are closed, but somehow the wind is getting in.

Then it could be because of the heaviness of the blankets. Its so cold that I need a few, plus my duvet. Maybe I feel a bit surrounded.

It could also be that I have all these plans running through my head! Plans for Ash's. Tonight's plan is a blackboard room divider. It will look pretty nice at the opening to the kitchen. I think?

There is advertising ideas, too... I'm thinking of getting branded flags. But, I'm not sure about those yet.

Then I think about my family and friends a lot. I love them so much, and I lay here and pray to God to keep them safe and sound. To keep them protected and happy, and healthy.

So what can it be? Why am I not sleeping? Who knows...

O wait! It can be that my socks are cramping my style or that my warm water bottle is just too hot?

I just want to sleep....really....


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So seer!

Ek het lanklaas so seer gehad soos nou. My hande kan nie toemaak nie, my voete pyn, ek het 'n knop op my elmboog en my skouer is werklik seer!!

Ek kan nie slaap nie, want daar is nie 'n manier wat ek kan slaap soos altyd nie. Maak nie saak hoe ek le nie, dis seer!

Here, my God, asseblief vat hierdie pyn weg? Here asb?

Amen!

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Late...?

I know its late...

But is there anyone I can talk to out there?


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What's up?

I woke up ten minutes ago, and it feels like I slept for hours...and to set the record straight? I only did the sleep thing for two hours? I think?

Just grand...


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Thorns in my side...

I've started this blog a few times, saved it to draft, and then deleted it again.

Maybe its because I don't want to blog about my RA anymore. I can just imagine how people must feel, reading about it the whole time. I won't like to. So, yes, I'm not going to blog about that no more. I believe God will heal me, so I'm leaving that 'thorn' for now.

I bought books, and I'm so eager to start reading them. But I'm battling to read - again! I don't know what's up with that. Its not that I don't have time, I have a lot of that. So not being able to read is another 'thorn'.

Ash's is doing ok. But I want it to do better. I know it can! I've got all these ideas, but I'm battling to realize them. Its good ideas, I think. I just can't do them alone. I need help. Every time I'm ready and full of excitement to start, then it all comes to a grinding halt, because of stupid things like the size of a board! A huge 'thorn'.

For my two very dear friends? I'm sorry I've been such a grumpy old kuh! :(

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Hoe alles skeef loop

Alles is weereens waar dit was, een groot gemors-spul. Al wat ek eintlik wou doen was om dinge vir haar makliker te maak, haar te spaar van die vibes en negatiewe dinge.

Dis moeilik as sy dink ek lieg vir haar, dis moeilik dat ons nie meer kan praat soos altyd nie.

Dit voel werklikwaar of ek haar klaar verloor het. Miskien het ek, want ek kan dit aanvoel.

Ek is moeg. Regtig.

Almal kom maar seker op 'n stadium waar dinge net elke keer meer en meer skeefloop. Dis deel van die lewe.

Die vraag is, wil hulle dit regmaak?

Wel, tyd sal seker leer. Maar tot dan, bly ek stil en se liewer niks, want sodra ek iets se, word dit uit verband uit geruk, en soos ek se, ek is moeg.


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Good, don't you think...

My Lifeguard walks on water!

Amen!


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